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1.15.2013
I feel like I'm in need of an 80's music marathon. Not sad songs; more like, "Life has unexpected twists sometimes, and you gotta just go with the flow!" songs. Maybe some Bryan Adams...
Nick and I broke up today. Not that it's much of a surprise. I was expecting it to happen. Heck, I was planning it all out, and I was going to talk to him tomorrow. But he had other plans apparently. This morning he knocked on my door completely unexpectedly and broke the news. I'm a little depressed, as is normal for a breakup, and I teared up when we were talking, but I'm not entirely devastated Entirely? Fuck that. Not sad enough. Not feeling enough. It's real and it happened and I feel like maybe I'm a bit of a bitch because even though he loved me, I feel more melancholy than heart-broken.
I'm going to get myself a strong latte and go to Spanish. Bye.
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1.09.2013
This morning I felt great. Went to a new class, single-handedly brainstormed an art installation for a group project. Had lunch with friends. Learned to say hello in Spanish.
Now I feel like shit. Life has a stupid fucking way of turning itself on it’s end in the quickest of fashions. I’m quite, uncharacteristically, intensely depressed. I feel as if the thoughts in my head are made up of thousands of strings, wet heavy, thick, gray yarn, dragging through glue, through mud, sludge, weighing me down.
I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to go swimming, or have drinks with friends.
I am going to lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling, until I wake up tomorrow.