----------------------------------------
7.18.2012
Cigars. What the jesus-
Can I possibly like them more? Ha. Hardly.
There's a new guy here who is pretty cute. Not in a masculine - ohmyfuckhehasamustache - sort of way. But more of a 'he's funny, and I bet if he had a haircut he'd be adorable' kind of way. We'll see where that goes. If anywhere.
Not like I'm searching.
----------------------------------------
7.15.2012
Such a lazy weekend. I've been watching movies all day in central rez, hanging around the couches with other lazy people, drinking way to much coffee. It's been great.
Today, I played RISK for the first time. As I figured beforehand, it was a lot more complicated to watch than to play. Strategy games aren't usually my niche, but I had fun. Almost failed at the beginning, caught the hang of it, and came in 2nd place. One of my friends and I have formed an alliance for the next game. We're teaming up against this games winner. Not sure when that game will take place, but it's going to be a blast.
Won 8/10 billiard games in the last 2 days. Haven't lost my touch afterall.
New blogskin. This one I edited the shit out of, so it's all mine now. Congrats to me. Only took me 4 hours.
It's about to thunderstorm outside. ♥
Also, soup = yum.
----------------------------------------
7.14.2012
My door is open because it's so warm outside. I had all these bugs in my room, buzzing around, bumping into me mid-flight, annoying me to death, so I turned on my AirCon, which made outside the hottest place for them, and then all flew away. Genius, Kate, genius.
I've realized that tumblr has taken over my life in ways I never imagined it would. And I'm o.k. with that. If anyone reads this blog, and I high doubt anyone does, then please do not waste your time with my ramblings, and instead move onto my tumblr here. There's much less complaining and daily life and more pictures of beaches and skateboards and sexy men.
And now, without further explanation, I'm going to change my blogskin (again), and post about some odd stuff...
Lately, I've been wondering how it would feel to be Bi. Yes, I know, "Um, Kate. Whattheeff?". But, alas, I am serious. It's easy enough to wonder about doing, and less easy to, well, practice, I suppose. I've always been attracted to men, that is a given. They are sexy and masculine and I have this unhealthy attraction to egoism and toned abs and mustaches. And yet, I've also always thought that women are gorgeous creatures. I've no problem admitting that I find certain women attractive. I've checked out asses and breasts and thought to myself, "Man, that girl is hot". I'm sure I'm not the first straight woman to say that, and I'm not the first to watch lesbian porn, yet I've found myself thinking more and more about whether or not there's a possibility that I could be Bi. Not gay, no, certainly not completely. I'm attracted to both sexes.
I've dabbled in kissing women, and I've gone to 2nd base on multiple occasions, and it's fun, for sure. The only problem is vagina. I mean, I barely like looking at my own vagina, let alone someone Else's. The thought of having to go down on a girl freaks me out. And that's why I just haven't openly searched for a relationship with another woman. Breasts, heck yes. Asses, heck yes. Vaginas, hell no.
I'm definitely attracted to men more, though, so perhaps I shall be forever stuck at 2nd base when it comes to women. I really don't know. Either I'm Bi, or not. Either is fine with me. These thoughts have just been wandering around in circles in my brain. Figured I could at least put it out there. Ponder with a post, as it were. And I guess I'll just have to live and be my crazy self and see what happens.
(Scratch that bit about the bug triumph. A horde of mosquitoes has invaded my oasis. Go away you pesky pests! Ugh.)
On a happier note: I have a tan! This is remarkable, as I am usually classed at the whitest chick ever, and now I'm not! Hallelujah. Praise Rah. I'm on my way to a nice golden-brown, and I have a discomforting tan-line on my thighs when my cutoffs end. Tomorrow I'm going to the beach to lay in the sun and blend myself into gorgeousness. Hm, maybe I'll stop by Scoops and treat myself to ice-cream too... Yummmm.
I need a camera. This is non-negotiable. If you own a camera (and by you I mean nobody, because nobody ever reads this) and are thinking about selling it or giving it away, then please please please contact me and let me take it off your hands for you. I want to take photos every day of my life, and I haven't been able to, and it's making me sad whenever I want to and can't. SO please, once again, lemme have it, yes?
----------------------------------------
7.11.2012
I'm sitting on the stairs, outside, in the dark, knowing fully well that if someone were to walk around the corner, they'd probably be scared shitless. They might scream. Or have a heart-attack. Or just attack me, even.
And still, here I am. I think deep down inside of me there's an evil clown-faced villian just waiting to break through.
Also, it's really fun to creep on people as they walk underneath me, because nobody looks through the cracks in the steps above them, and it's such a great place to judge people.
The real reason, of course, that's I'm here on the steps in the dark, is because I need internet, and the university internet is the strongest (it downloads my movies faster. muahaha). And the stairs is the closest to my room I can get it, without going completely down to campus. Hoo-rah.
----------------------------------------
7.05.2012
I’m quick-witted and pretty and I have common sense. I’m good with talking to people I will never see ever again.
I’m not funny, or sexy, and I couldn’t do math to save my life. Really. If someone was going to shoot me unless I multiplied 12 x 7 in under 10 seconds, I’d just stay silent.
I love my friends, and I’m very loyal. I’ve punched people for hurting the people I care about. I’ll go that far.
I’m fairly happy. I’m good at being with people, and good at being alone. Some days I’d rather be in a crowd of hundreds of strangers than in my dorm by myself. Sometimes I spend days locked away from civilization, because I can’t stand dealing with other people.
I smile a lot. Most of the time. Little things make me laugh, and big things make me laugh equally as much. Occasionally I think I laugh because of the irony of it all. I’m very sarcastic, and sometimes factitious. I know when things are funny and when they are real. I can hurt people when I need to. Without knowing. I can get hurt, because I understand that people say things they mean, even when laughing.
If I need to make a good impression, I get super nervous, but I don’t choke. Internally, I am flailing my arms and legs, exhausted, my brain making excuses left and right. On the outside I’m collected and amiable, and friendly, and people like me.
I am a pessimistic optimist. I hope for the best and realize that the worst could, and sometimes does happen. I believe people can change, and know that most people don’t. Everyone lies. Everyone tries. For the most part, the universe can suck it’s own balls for all I care.
I’m spontaneous and yet I’m so not. Bowling with friends now? Yes. Go out for sushi now? Sure. Come on over for a movie and popcorn all of a sudden? Why not? But I can be a real loner. And there are times I blow off my friends because I want to be alone. I don’t want to see people, and I don’t want to be seen. I don’t want to do things. I want to do nothing. By myself.
----------------------------------------
7.03.2012
Well, my life is fucked.
I need money to stay in Kamloops-to pay my $350 rent. I need a job to make that money, but I can’t work because I have no place to stay while I work for my rent.
On top of that, I have payments due for this coming school year on, oh yeah, the 5th of July. $1200 due for my 1st school semester of housing, and I don’t have that.
So, it looks like I’ll not be going to school this coming September. In fact, I may have to go back home with my parents and my little sister and work until January and then come back.
If only the government didn’t fucking hate me so much. All I need is money. That’s all. The money THEY owe me. The money that was supposed to have come 2 weeks ago. If they actually ever kept their word, then vuala, rent would be covered for this month and the next month. Just not my school year.
Oh yeah, and added onto that is the fact that I cannot, for the life of me, get hired. I’ve applied at 12 jobs in the last month, and not one of them has contacted me back. That doesn’t help my situation at all. Even if I did manage to stay, I can’t afford to pay for my September housing rent anyways, and might as well just fucking go home.
So yeah. My life is fucked.
----------------------------------------
7.02.2012
Just watched the Kamloops fireworks for Canada Day. They were lit in the downtown riverside park, but I decided not to take the half hour walk there, and instead opted to stand on the 4th floor balcony of my dorm buildings and listen to the nostalgic explosions from a further, yet optimal, distance. They were surprisingly, uh, (what's that word?) ... lame? Yes. That's it. The display was lame. It was 15 minutes of a sporadic lights shot willy-nilly all over the skyline; colors not coordinated; time delays between shots, and, did I mention it was 15 minutes long? However, it was Canada Day fireworks, and I loved them. It just feels so good to see them. It's comforting to know that no matter where I am (at least in Canada), for at least one day out of the year I get to share fireworks with everyone else who is watching. Like a chain of wonder is strung suddenly across the country. And we all chain up willingly, if only for a few moments.